1. Women are just as horny as men but less obvious/aggressive.
Most people, including women, do not realize this. Women are allowed to be more “dramatic” and expressive than men, so they can express interest in men in a wider yet less ambiguous manner before alarm bells start going off. If you’re attuned to reading people well, this is something you can pick up if you’re paying attention.
2. I just now assume a man is gay/bi.
I don’t assume they are attracted to women until they make it obvious. People are assumed straight until proven gay in society and that turns most people’s blinders off to subtle cues of homosexuality in others and themselves. When you start assuming the opposite, often you’ll realize you had no reason to ever just assume they were heterosexual.
We’re only trained in whatever society’s general accepted view of what LGBTQ+ “should” or “probably” look/act like — generally moving in the more extreme opposite of what the standard is. When you stop relying on that basless standard and just start neutral with people and see the full extent of their energy, their “otherness” will not even be something you think of that would distinguish them. That is how irrelevant that fact is in who they are as a person.
But I said all this to say, men cat-call, check out, flirt with, and “date” each other all the time. They just have to wear it differently because of societal norms. Pay attention to who men watch, what they compliment, what they insult, where their attention goes, how they react with other men, how they act with women, etc. A lot of straight men are homoerotic/dating their homies. A lot of straight men actually aren’t attracted to women in any real way. A lot of women know that and they maybe feel the same way.
It never registered in my mind but I realized, a lot of people see partnering with the opposite sex and having children as just what they’re supposed to do. They believe that there is a way that life is “supposed” to go and never for a moment consider that as just one of many options.
I’m a gay man so my perspective is centered around men, but I think most lesbians could attest to this.
3. People genuinely treat you significantly different than people they don’t see as attractive.
Not to sound like a saint, but that has been something I’ve consciously tried to undo in my own behavior. Of course I’m not perfect but I assumed everyone also at least tried.
That’s not true at all. Many people do not care that they treat attractive people better. It doesn’t even register to them as something that is “not good.” Some people even defend it!
Also old people are creepy too. Society allowed them to be more overt in their expressiveness so they get more training in how to be creepy only more subtly.
4. People will literally try to wear you.
They’ll adopt your habits and personality, study and copy everything you do AND they also might try to bully you/get under your skin. People are crazy and just walk around looking for sometime to attach to and absorb into themselves to fill whatever void they have.
5. People stalk you a lot more than you imagine.
Many times I’ve walked past someone going the opposite direction and they will turn around and follow you. I take long walks so it’s rare that someone follows me too long. I also don’t always have headphones so I can hear people’s footsteps and after a while, I get suspicious if im hearing the same footsteps for too long. I thought I was crazy but a lot of the time, id turn my head enough to get them in my peripheral vision and they would instantly react and speed up to pass me or go a different direction.
6. A lot of people are jealous of the people in their lives from friends to family to coworkers.
If someone who they both find attractive is more “friendly” to one and not the other, you can it sort of read it in their attitudes/expressions if you’re paying attention. This is not a hugely bad thing, jealous is a very normal emotion and even the best of us feel it. It just needs to be kept in check.
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